2001: An Event Horizon

Imagine a world in which The Sword of Shannara was written before the Lord of the Rings. It's good, Tolkien's critics might say, but its just a reworking of that Brook's drivel - isn't Gandalf just Allanon with a beard? Why has Shea shrunk? Swords, rings, who cares?

In a more just Universe Danny Boyle's new film, Sunshine, would have been released in 1997 and I would now be saying that the newly released film Event Horizon was derivative rubbish, but unfortunately this isn't a just Universe, and it's Sunshine that has just been released 10 years too late.

Sunshine isn't a bad film, in fact in some places it puts aside its pointless loopy captain and attains a kind of beatific Zen wonder, but its to little to late (or more accurately to soon, because it's the first half that's great). It's carefully put together, I love the fact that nothing is explained but it all still makes sense (the international crew, the gold space suits, the botanic garden). It's an ode to 2001, which deserves the homage, and it's just as pretty, but it's the shadow of Event Horizon that stretches an inglorious sunspot over the film. Ship goes off to do something importantly MacGuffinish and doesn't come back, another ship follows because the MacGuffin is important, the second ship finds the first ship. Much is weird. At this point someone goes bonkers, some other folk die, pause for transcendental moment... and release. Actually its kind of like Sphere as well :-(

Oh well. The direction is great, the performances are believable and the Sun is beautiful. Forget the annoyingly pointless burnt-out third act and focus on the Star. What can you see, what can you see? A missed opportunity that's what :-(

300

Wow! - the Battle of Thermopylae has never looked so good. I've just watched the film adaptation of Frank Miller's 300, itself based on the 1962 film The 300 Spartans. I've been struggling a bit with how to describe it - the critics are divided, is it a 21st century masterpiece or a shallow array of action set-pieces? What about the plot, they ask, what about the characterisations? But that's a bit like complaining that Michelangelo's David is a bit drab, that War and Peace lacks pictures, or that the Mona Lisa is a bit small. In short - it completely misses the point.

300 is not a narrative film - it's not supposed to be. 300 is a film of simple emotions, raw physicality and beautiful, beautiful imagery. Damn it, if the basic plot line bores you then put your fingers in your ears and just watch the pictures. I promise you that it would still be more enjoyable than staring for two hours at this oil painting of the same story by Jacques-Louis David - and he was a famous artist don't you know.

Of course you might also take exception to the one-sided perversion of history, xenophobia, homophobia, testosterone soaked fascism, misogyny and eugenics - but then again nothing is perfect.

In all senses of the word 300 is bloody good fun.

CnC on the Cheap

I came across this tower defense game on del.icio.us. I found it oddly familiar, and then realised that it's essentially Command and Conquer on an etch-o-sketch. No wonder it comes naturally, I've been playing its big brother all week.

Oddly satisfying :-/

High score to date: 1998

Commanding and Conquering

I love the smell of Mammoth Tanks in the morning. A few days ago I grabbed myself a copy of Command and Conquer 3 and I'm currently enjoying smashing, crushing and blasting my way through the Brotherhood of Nod. It was in my student days that I was first introduced to the RTS joys of Command and Conquer; that game, and its Red Alert sequels, were a stable of our student LAN parties and I still have fond memories of creating an alliance with the Soviets and teleporting a submarine into an inland lake to blow the hell out of our opponent's secret wave power plants.

Of course at some point you must put away childish things, which was why, as a PhD student, we put aside our GDI and Nod uniforms and turned instead to the sophisticated intricacies of Total Annihilation :-) Ahh.. the sweet happiness of bombing the seven bells out of the Core Commander.

Sadly the additional unit packs could only extend our obsession by a few hundred games, and so we forgot about our differences ("ergh.. your commander is blue!") and allowed our anger to wane, as the years passed we have gone our separate ways and have forgotten the guilty pleasure of sending hundreds of little pixelly soldiers to their deaths.

That is until now.

Command and Conquer 3 has awoken the tiger, poked the dragon and made silly faces at my inner Mahatma Gandhi. Now I am angry again, and once I have eviscerated Kane and his lunatic idolisers, I will play again, erm.. as Kane, and obliterate the namby pamby forces of the Global Defence Initiative.

Fantastic, bombastic, FMV happiness in a box. Command and Conquer is back.